Patience

I've learned that no matter how I try to push, God keeps a tight reign on me. When I rebel, God knows how to reel me back in and teach me humility. In life, we face so many obstacles, most of which we create for ourselves when we don't take heed to those red flags, those gut feelings. But, with each experience that we could have avoided, we come to learn a lesson. Some tend to like learning that lesson over and over again. Me? Not so much.

I'm an emotional creature. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I express a lot, sometimes without a filter and I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I'm okay with that. I won't change that about myself. I'll continue to say what and how I feel, as long as no one gets hurt in the process. Like I do ever so often, I allow my heart to be visited and usually, those visitors stay permanently but sometimes, some leave and aren't invited back. Those are the ones who have made too permanent a mark and the only way to heal that scar is to remove them completely. What I've learned is that one cannot continue to allow people into our lives when we know they won't stay and will leave, taking a little bit of you.

On the other hand, I have to realize that we don't meet people by mistake. Everything and everyone is by design and sent to learn from us or to teach us something. If those lessons are never learned, we continue on this path towards destruction, pain and self hate. We won't ever be able to claim that love of self that we are entitled to and in turn, can't show anyone else love either. How do we fix it all? How do we stop meeting and inviting in the wrong people? How do we fix what should be fixed and let go of what should be let go of? Simple answer.

Wait! Patiently wait! Wait for guidance and the right signs, the ones that make you feel good instead of bad. The signs where your stomach gets butterflies, not knots from anxiety and anguish. Patiently wait and stop searching for what you want. Wait for what God has promised. He hasn't lied to you yet.

1 <3 everyone.

My journey continues. I'm kinda excited :-)